VALENTINA ESTRELLA; AS PROMISED, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :D

im am really really hurt by you okayy. really really. how could you just do this. im suffered enough okay. just enough. im reaching the end of
my tolerance. i cant even hate you for this. you just break everything. once, you were scared if i broke your heart but now, who broke whose
heart. im devastated okay. stop all your acting okay. i know u hate me now, u avoid me now. its because u think it will help me move on. ur
making me suffer more each day. have you ever think of that? you only think about yourself. u said i was your first and last but that were lies kan? i had to sacrifice what i had to prove to you that i love you. i did everything i could and i get this in return. you left me because of your studies? then why is that after your o's, you cant be with me? it clearly shows that your sick, bored, fucked up with me. even people say that. you left me with a hopeful message. u said u still want me but i feel
hated, unwanted by you. why? why? cant you see that im hiding my pain everytime in school? why, why? do you ever think of the promises you made? why did you break them? is it because the promises are meant
for other people? then why? are you making this as a revenge on me? why why? u said you will treasure, cherish & love me forever? did you ever mean it? u said u were scared if i broke my promises and leave
you, now what happen? you left me, u hate me, u avoid me. dont you know how much i miss you? how much i need you? do you ever care? do you? thats what ur brother said, you didnt cared at all, its always me who cared. i have proven to you how impt you are to me & how much i needed & loved you. then still, are you playing with my feelings like
what you did to others girls? u said you have changed, i believed you but now? i want to hate you for causing all this but i cant, that feeling
called love is still there only you doesnt know it. you dont know how much i think about you in school,how much i cared about you. you
just dont effing care. you think, by doing this, life will be better for us. but no, i cry each night. i hurt myself each night. i prayed to god each night that we'll be together again & our love will last forever. but you, ur enjoying life with your brother, ur girl-friends and whoever except
me. do you know that i have suffered enough through these two weeks? i still have the present i bought for you which i planned to give you on 171007. but you wouldnt meet me. abdul hakim bin mokhtar, you
are not helping me at all, your making me suffer more & regret living each day of my life. do you like doing that? you like seeing me cry, hurt myself and moreover, kill myself right? what did i do wrong until i have to go through this hakim? what wrong did i do to you? now, u have moved on, leaving me alone by my own. you said once that you
would never leave me. why hakim? im really really devastated. and im very very close to suicidal. serious. dont you ever think about me?
dont you? you think about yourself. i can wait for you till after your o's. i can but you wouldnt turn back. do you know that im even crying, typing
out this post? wait, you dont even care kan? hakim, i need you. is not that i cant live without you, i can. but i will suffer everyday of my life.
do you know why i cant type? it is because i smashed my hand with glass and its bleeding. but what did you say? im typing crap? my hand really hurts. i shed too much tears over you, even blood. but did you care? maybe after you read this, you'll say 'go and die lah bitch!'. i can grant your wish hakim cause i rather die than suffer everyday of my
life. your my first real love and you left me shattered. only god knows how i felt & how much i do love you. do you know that, i thought we
would last forever but no, u just walked away. i rather cry once a week than cry each day. im devastated. just that. & i miss you so much. i
just miss you saying those 3 words to me. will you ever come back? or would you rather see me like this? i miss you, i swear i do. i love you,
i swear i really do. and please, think about all this & think, why are you letting me suffer? why? why hakim? i love you now, then & always.

Labels: hanging by a thread., im alone